10 Grossest Things about Running (that no one tells you about)

1. Porta-Potty Paradise

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Pre-race lines for porta potties would make you think these little green toilets are gold lined and have silk toilet paper. If you want to go potty before a race you better plan on arriving to a race about 6 hours early to claim your spot in line.

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2. Running Red (chaffing, diaper rash, jock itch)

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I thought diaper rash was for babies?  After my first marathon I couldn’t figure out what was happening to me . . . then I discovered the miracle of Vaseline and Destine. Runners love to slather this goop on like there is no tomorrow.

3. Medals of Honor (massive post race blistering)

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If you have ever spent time with a marathoner, the topic of blisters has come up.  But we don’t just talk about them . . . we compare.  The winner is the idiot who had the biggest blister . . . P.S. I beat my wife!

4. Um . . . . bleeding nipples

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Ever see a guy run his first marathon. He is easy to spot. He will be the one with blood gushing down his shirt where his nipples used to be.

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5. Marathon Pedicure (toenails falling off)

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A runners favorite nail polish color is black and blue . . . then its no nail!  Don’t worry they do grow back.

6. Snot Rockets (who needs Kleenex)

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We have learned to master the art of shooting snot from our noses.  One of the joys of running is watching the newbie learn the skill.

7. Nectar of the Gods (GU energy gel)

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What could be more delicious than nectar thick carbohydrates in the flavor of “cardboard and sandpaper”.  These little packets of joy are perfect for making it impossible to swallow or talk for the next 3 miles.

8. Who needs Porta-Potties (yeah . . . we pee our pants a little bit)

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Where else can adults pee their pants and no one points and laughs.  All in the name of shaving 20 seconds off the time my friend!

9. Runners Trots ( . . . and sometimes we poop a little bit too)

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So . . . I guess a few people didn’t arrive in time to wait in the 6 hour porta potty lines!!!

10. Dehydration . . . Overhydration . . . Heat Stroke

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You will either drink to little, drink to much, or run when its way to damn hot!  No worries . . . it will make a sweet story on your next training run!

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Image Credits:

Michael (a.k.a. moik) McCuldirvishCasey HelblingAndy CarvinDave HerholzThreeIfByBikeJohn Rees– EMR –GuyChristiana Care

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